The Dark Side of Online Dating | By Jessica Z
When browsing in the world of online dating, there can be many benefits realized, as well as dangers and drawbacks. In addition, as with any dating niche, there can also be many dangers and drawbacks associated with online dating as well. Here are a few things to keep in mind when browsing and considering which online dating sites to use and, more importantly, what some signs of dangers and some of the drawbacks can be.
One of the biggest things that make online dating so very popular can also be one of its biggest drawbacks as well. This is the anonymity of the online world. For example, when a person signs up for a service, such as a chat room, or an email client, what guarantee is there that the information that is given by anyone is in fact real? Unfortunately, none whatsoever. Just like there are ways to spoof an email address, there are ways to spoof a photo or a profile of oneself. It is the biggest known factor on the internet that when given the chance, people can, and do, lie. While most of the prospects a person may be interested in on one of these dating sites may in fact give correct information, there are up to 5% of people who do not. Everyone has heard the story of a friend of theirs who has met that special person online who sounds like they might be the “one,” or they are “soul mates.” Just to find out that when they meet in real life they look nothing like their online picture or the stats that were given of their height or heaviness were not exactly right. This leads right into the next reason that online dating has its drawbacks.
This would be the fact that some people are sometimes so desperate to find love that they are willing to let go of their ideals or, sometimes, their dignity just to find and be with someone, anyone. The drawback itself being that by the time you actually meet in person the prospect, by now, you probably already so involved with this person, that it might not matter to you that they lied in the first place. That is what causes some people to be dishonest about their pictures or profile in the first place.
The fact that they know and understand that there are very “trusting” and “naïve” people out there that can fall for someone so hard and so fast, that by the time they meet, it really does not matter what they actually lied about. They figure it is something that they will get over soon enough. But one thing that needs to be remembered is, if they lied about the little things, what makes you think that they won’t lie about what really matters? And why is it that they don’t trust themselves enough to put the real picture or information on the online dating site in the first place? What exactly is it that they are hiding? These questions need an answer before continuing in any kind of relationship.
Another drawback to online dating ties in with the first one above, the anonymity factor, and can pose a great danger to anyone looking to join an online dating site. While most people are truthful when it comes to giving information, those 5% who decide to fudge their info do it for a reason. Some of those reasons may be innocent enough, but some surely are not. Take, for example, a sexual predator. A person like this may have joined an online dating community looking for their next “target” and, by giving false information, can most times succeed in hiding their past from their prospects. An online dater would have no way of knowing if the person they are interested in has a history or not. Now if the dater happened to meet in person the sexual predator posing as a prospect, the dater could be in a lot of danger and never know it. For this reason alone, it is always a good idea to check out anyone who you might be interested in meeting in person. Do some kind of background check, or Google them even if just to get the slightest bit of information you can on them. If nothing comes up, or if anything looks suspicious, always ask your prospect. It can save a lot in terms of time and, sometimes, even your life.
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Online dating has become very popular over the years and with good reason. It is necessary, though, to keep in mind that there are dangers and drawbacks to consider, along with all of the obvious benefits. If you join an online site, have fun, but always remember to do your homework, because your “soul mate” may not be who they claim to be. It never hurts to check someone out once or twice, but not checking at all can kill.
Jessica Z is the writer of this and many other great thoughts on dating as found at http://www.sixsingles.com.
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